Sugar is Not the Devil

I would like to preface this narrative by saying that I am an endurance athlete, and between training and off-seasons, I run approximately 80-115 miles a month. I have also been treated for an eating disorder. This week Oiselle, the women’s running company, shared an article by The Spectator about the dangers of clean eating. This is my experience as an athlete, and I thank Oiselle for bringing this topic to the forefront! Link to Spectator article: http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2015/12/clean-food-is-a-dangerous-fad/

I have essentially always been a vegetarian. When I was a child, I would throw down with my mom if she tried to make me eat a pork chop. The act of ordering a burger at a restaurant, or ribs or steak at a steakhouse, never appealed to me. It’s a texture thing, and I also have problems with eating stuff that once had a face and a heart. Ugh. Anyway, I recently made my vegetarian status official. And… I sort of became a vegan. On accident.

In the summer, I got a little bored with food, so I started following some local food bloggers to spice up my diet—more specifically, health conscious food bloggers. The Instagram posts of their bright, fruity oatmeal bowls looked so glamorous. Their superfood salads looked fit for a queen. I was hooked. I wanted to be part of their pretty sugar-free worlds. I was both entertained and stunned when their posts of a singular banana on a whitewashed, well-lit surface garnered hundreds of likes. I mean, it’s a dang banana. That’s when I finally realized I had bought into a cult.  

It started with some innocent muffins. They were made with all raw ingredients, and quite frankly, this recipe satisfied that voice of my eating disorder that still lingers inside. Raw. Guilt free. Dairy free. Gluten free. Wait. Since when couldn’t I have gluten or dairy??

It felt good, so I started making more recipes each week. It was time-consuming as I made each dish from scratch. Suddenly I was replacing my whole milk with almond milk. I was baking with coconut milk and coconut flour. (I was basically trying to be a coconut.) I bought $5 medjool dates to sweeten some bullshit paleo snack bars instead of using the raw sugar I already had in my cabinet. I made my own salad dressing from hemp seed, orange juice, and olive oil. (honestly I’m surprised oil made it into the recipe)

That’s right. I let some food bloggers who know nothing about my intense, active lifestyle, to swindle me into not eating dairy, sugar, or carbs. I bought into their cult-- their glowing social media presence-- to become an unhealthy disciple of this false lifestyle. I was in it for the glamor of it.

Over time I had unintentionally adapted a vegan diet, and since I’m not a vegan, I wasn’t taking any vitamins to supplement my diet. My iron, calcium, and protein levels were down for the count, and I got a nice lecture from my doctor about that. Which is nightmarish when you’ve already struggled with an eating disorder. In a nutshell, I was running 100 miles a month and consuming minimal amounts of fat and sugar and very little protein. (Don’t worry, carbs, I would never give you up!) It wasn’t about the calories. It was about the content and whether or not what I was eating was raw, or “clean.” Eating disorders manifest from obsessive behaviors, and I was obsessing over “bad” and “good” foods. I was at the point where I was having my tea and coffee with no sugar or cream because that wasn’t “clean.” I would only eat cream-less soups and drink soy lattes. I cut milk out of my diet for absolutely no reason other than paranoia about “clean eating.”

Believe it or not, when you’re an athlete, you actually need sugar, carbs, and fat!!

I understand that there are people who benefit from removing certain products from their diet. Do you know why? Because they have a diagnosed medical condition that prevents them from eating such things. One of my friends has Crohn’s disease and must closely monitor her diet. Another has Celiac’s disease, and another is lactose intolerant. They have actual, diagnosed medical conditions that prevent them from consuming certain either gluten or dairy. As for me, I was obnoxiously amending my diet because I religiously read healthy food blogs, whose writers communicated false information; whose writers made me feel like what I was doing was bad.

In the past I have mocked this fad, writing Facebook statuses such as, “Had Bottle Caps and Lucky Charms for dinner. #cleaneating” because I could see through the bullshit. So how did I end up in my vegan, paleo, sugar-free, gluten-free disastrous diet nightmare?

I realized I was wasting money on half of these ingredients when I had to throw them away at the end of the week when they spoiled. I live by myself, and no one else I’m associated with gives a shit about paleo snack bars. I wasted money on some frozen spinach when I tried to make some “green” blueberry chocolate smoothie, and it was freaking disgusting. One sip and I denounced green smoothie-making. I’ll have my Lucky Charms back, thanks. And also I love sweet tea and ice cream. Like the sweetest, most southern sweet tea. Those are two of my greatest loves in life.

I had a great balance going on until I became hypnotized by some pretty social media accounts, and ironically, blogs. (Since I am a blogger myself lolz). I'm still a vegetarian, but I happily consume gluten, dairy, and sugar again. Beware, my friends, especially my athletic friends. Clean eating is a mirage. Sugar is not the devil.