A Critique of the Critics: The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Disclaimer: I am not saying that watching the Show is right or wrong, and I am not criticizing those who watch it for entertainment. I am criticizing those who continue to watch and support the Show while they critique its effect but take no action.

As a leader, sometimes there are things that one just does not want to address. In my case, that would be the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I am the president of an Ohio State organization called Body Sense. We promote a healthy body image through outreach activities, and we are the lovely group that hosts Columbus’s (and Ohio’s only) NEDA Walk. I actually forgot the fashion show was tonight until our treasurer emailed me an article that OSU’s newspaper, The Lantern, published about the future backlash of the show that was also meant to be a positive, uplifting message to OSU’s female students. That is actually why I did not want to address it. Because it is the most cliché topic ever to grace the public eye of body image issues. This is literally the only night of the year that most of the American population publicly gives a rat’s butt about body image. I am not about to give some rainbows-and-butterflies speech about how we are all beautiful, etc. because there will be about a thousand of those tomorrow. I want to address why we say the same things over and over each year, yet do nothing about it. 

This has been the routine the past 5+ years: The models wear relatively the same thing; a giant set of wings (sometimes other objects such as snowflakes or hearts) and a million-dollar bra. Celebrities come out to play, as do the journalists and (ta-da!) bloggers. Millions of women post statuses on social media sites about going to the gym for hours, doing a juice cleanse and tons of other comments that display disordered thinking. Millions of men discuss how they think the models get thinner each year and how that is supposedly unattractive. The next day one of the models discusses her pre-show diet which is also extremely unhealthy and disordered. She is criticized even though the previous night she was glorified.

In other words, the VS Fashion Show will have the US in an uproar for approximately 48 hours.

I have had my taste of the runway, and it’s really not that difficult. What is difficult is attaining the body standards of the modeling world. Last year my bff Elise and I (picture fabulously displayed below) designed a dress for the KSA Fashion Schau and I modeled for us. We had an incredible time, and our design was chosen as a finalist in the competition! We plan on doing again this year, but we are going to design for the other so each of us can model. We aren’t forcing any crazy diets upon ourselves. We are simply designing for each other and having fun with our fellow designer friends.

There was a time when I wanted to be like those models. I have watched the show twice desiring to look like the Angels and was then affected by the spectacle of the show. But let’s be real now. I’m over it. I got over it a long time ago. I’m never going to look like that, and I could really care less! That is why I seriously do not understand why we do this every year. The models virtually look the same, it has the same effect on young women, and journalists write the same freaking articles. It is high time that America gets over it too. If it really bothers you that much, take off your PINK! velour jumpsuit, turn off the television, and celebrate who you are because none of us are Angels.

Be thankFULL

I remember reading an article years ago written by an anorexia survivor, crying. The purpose of the article was about how much the author missed in life during the period in which she suffered from her eating disorder. She wrote about her college graduation, and how as soon as the ceremony was over her family wanted to celebrate with a meal together. She made an excuse, they left her college town, and she missed an opportunity of celebration with her family. Personally, my families and I love eating together. We also use food as a way to celebrate, be a family, and continue the traditions of our family who came to this country (hello Nanny’s homemade noodles!). During my period of struggle when I hated my body and self, I would punish myself when I ate with my family. I am so glad to be over that time in my life, and I just want to give advice to those who may be struggling with the same thing. (My lovely friend, Julia Shreve helped to make this list!)

The holidays are just another opportunity to nourish our bodies.

Do not skip meals or restrict yourself the next day.

You shouldn’t feel guilty about bonding with your family over food- even if it’s pumpkin pie!

Holidays are meant to be a time to enjoy and even indulge a little bit; so don’t worry!

Going back to my introduction, think of everything you miss out on when you focus on details that do not matter!

Never take that time with the people you love for granted. Enjoy the special food they make for you! I wish I could have the opportunity to have another holiday with my Nanny and Eulah again.

Do not skip eating the whole day-will lead to overeating

Try to eat snacks throughout the day and/or your regular meals

Remember there is no such thing as “good” or “bad” foods!

Be aware of the media and be prepared to be bombarded with things on “how to lose that holiday weight”- that’s bull----. Enjoy the holiday atmosphere- not the holiday commercials!

It is one meal (or a few if you're lucky!) and it is not the end of the world!

If you’re that devastated with your food intake, go take a walk, play football with the family,etc.

Honestly what is the worst that could happen if you did eat too much…nothing! You are not any less great than you are now.

Take these tips and a smile to your Thanksgiving dinner! Happy holidays! 

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When you lose and it sucks.

Obviously this post has been inspired by my mom’s recent defeat in politics; however, there is something I haven’t really discussed with anyone (partially because I was embarrassed and also because I didn’t discuss it with many people to begin with), and that is my rejection from Ohio State’s Homecoming court. It may seem silly, but it is 100% relatable to my mom’s loss and I got a good lesson from it. Hopefully I can help you!

In May this year, I got an interview for a spot on Ohio State’s Homecoming Court. I felt so honored! I was one of twenty-four girls chosen out of a pool of over one hundred other girls. I was obviously humbled by the fact that I had simply gotten an interview! I was cut in the final round (in June) when they selected twelve girls to represent the Buckeyes at the Homecoming game a few weeks ago. I had to sit in the stands and watch the Homecoming Court saunter giddily onto the field of the ‘Shoe, and yeah, I’ll admit it. I was a little bitter. I was just jealous. I was still hurting over the fact that that could have been me. But when the Queen was crowned, she just looked so freaking happy, that I was even happy for her. After all, my goal was just to be on the Court, not to be the queen. Anyway, moral of the story is.. I lost. And it sucked. My interview went so well. I seemed to have charmed the jury, and I felt really good about it. So when I was rejected, it really sucked.

It was hard to admit to my family because I knew that they were so excited that I had gotten this opportunity. I was actually embarrassed that I lost. But I knew I blew my family away simply by getting an interview. So what’s to be embarrassed about? They were proud of me regardless.

That is clearly how I feel about my mom. She may have lost, but her effort was a hell of a lot more than most people who never even try to achieve a goal. Plus we learned that a lot of people love and support my mom! (Duh!)

So both of us lost. But think of what we gained! I have an official, scary interview under my belt to prepare for future ones, and my mom knows how freaking awesome she is! Lately a lot of my friends are having these fears of losing. We’re getting to the point (literally, like, next few months!) where we need to figure out what exactly we are doing with our lives upon graduation. Some of us want to go to graduate school, and some of us want to work. I won’t lie, I’m still scared of losing when it comes to employment. I know where I want to go and what I want to do. But will they want me? Will I be good enough?

I’ve felt defeated before, but I can’t let the fear of losing keep me from achieving my goals or doing what I love. That’s just silly! It is important to acknowledge the difference between accepting defeat and fearing it. You can accept it after it happens, but don’t ever not do something because you’re afraid of negative results! Plus, you can always try again!

Fat Talk Finale

When I first made the commitment to give up fat talk for Lent, I thought, “What did I just do??” Forty days without hating on myself? Impossible! But it actually wasn’t so bad. I transformed into a fat-talk-free warrior. At first I was tempted to let a few comments leak, and it became easy just to hold them in and say something positive instead. But what I really became passionate about was combating fat talk that came from my friends. This spring I volunteered as a Girls on the Run coach (an esteem-boosting program for young girls) and I am the new Body Sense president. So I guess you could say that the ability to fight fat talk is in my “job” description. But it’s much easier said than done. Fighting fat talk is not a battle that can be won overnight. You have to practice. So for my fat talk finale (because I’m done with that crap) I wrote some rules for fighting fat talk.


1. Focus on what you can do, not what you look like. If I’m having a bad hair day for example, I say to myself, “Yeah, my hair might look like I borrowed my dog’s shampoo, but I can still play piano like a beast. So, kiss it hair. I’m over you.” Just silly little stuff like that can go a long way!

2. Remember that you are much more sensitive to your looks than your friends. If you think you look like hell, I can guarantee you’re the only one that’s going to notice. Your friends are more likely to notice a missing smile versus missing mascara.

3. Take a look at the beautiful people in your life. What makes them beautiful? Is it the outfit from the cover of Vogue or a perfectly airbrushed face? Unless your bff is Scarlett Johansson, that’s a big NO. Beauty comes in so many forms. It’s up to you to find it, especially in yourself.

4. Decide what you really like about yourself; whether it is physical or not. This was my favorite exercise from coaching this spring. I told the girls to do just the same. The best part? NONE of them picked something physical. “I like to make my friends laugh.” “I like to hug my mom when she’s having a bad day.” That was one of my favorite moments as an “adult” ever.

5. It not only hurts you, but those around you. One day, just a few weeks ago, my sister (who is 12) and I were shopping for bathing suits; the most appalling shopping mission for women besides jeans. In a fit of fat talk I accidentally said, “My butt got bigger and so did the rest of me.” This was the turning point, my friends. I will never forget the way Alli looked at me. She quietly said, “That’s not true.” She seemed so hurt. She might not admit it, but I know that she really loves me. I could tell that the thought of me hating myself broke her heart, and that observation broke mine. I instantly regretted it, and it had been my first stinging statement about myself for a long time. It hurt me too.

Consider this: If someone told you that your thighs were disgusting, that your abs could use some work, and you need a nose job, would you actually stand there and take it?? I sure as hell wouldn’t. Fat talk is the same no matter where it is coming from. There is no need for it to come from your own, beautiful mouth.

My final word of advice to you is to come up with an affirmation for yourself. Whether it is super deep or something funny, make sure that you’re accepting yourself with it.

Find your beauty and forget fat talk.

A Tribute to my Chucks

I bought my first pair of Chuck Taylors at the end of my freshman year of high school. If you know me well, I'm sure you've seen them at least once. They are a very faded magenta with many tears and flaws but a lot of memories. Even though at the time I didn't realize what I was doing was "retail therapy," I bought the shoes just a few days after my great-grandmother Eulah passed away. In retrospect, that was the first thing the shoes did for me; they comforted me in a time of mourning. Throughout high school the shoes went everywhere with me; Honor Band, show practices, band camp, and eventually college visits. I wore them when I decorated the high school gym for prom, and there is still paint on the top from a busted a tub of paint. I wore the shoes at freshman orientation at Ohio State, and of course I've worn them many times as an official student. They have traveled with me to New York City, Washington, D.C., Chicago, and Toronto, ON, and countless other cities. They have even accompanied me to a Cavs game. The shoes also have been with me to every job I've ever had and have remnants of beer stains (Riverside Golf Club) and new coffee stains from Oxley's.

This summer my pink Chuck Taylors and I will make even more memories together in various countries in Europe. I like to fantasize about what food might be spilled on them or exotic foreign people who might step on them (follow this blog for pictures this summer!). Something else I like to ponder about is how much I have grown in these shoes; not physically, but emotionally. I've won, I've lost, been accepted and rejected. I've traveled and I've learned. I bought them as a 15 year old girl with crazy ambitions and I've grown into a 21 year old (woman?) with even crazier ones. So here's to you, shoes. They might not have caused me to grow emotionally, but they were there, protecting my feet from frivolous, exploding tubs of paint the whole way. 

Trash Hole: Stress vs. Fat Talk

My first Lenten/Fat Talk Free update is much later than I intended it to be because architecture (my major) put me through the ringer last week. Which actually taught me something: when I am exhausted and stressed, my mind automatically goes into Fat Talk mode. I averaged maybe two hours of sleep per night last week, so it’s kind of hard not to, well, call yourself a zombie when you feel like one. I had one or more major projects due each day of the week, and every time I turned one in, I hated it. As the week progressed it just got worse. My hatred of my work grew stronger and began to affect the way I thought about myself, physically and emotionally. I am proud of myself though, because even though I verbalized negative thoughts about my work, I only said one thing about my appearance. On Tuesday night I arrived home at my apartment with my roommate around 3:00am, and I said to her, “I look like a trash hole.” As soon as I said it I started laughing. First of all, what is a trash hole? And how on earth do I resemble one? Toward the end of the week I kept pointing out that I looked evil…according to my standards anyway. I’m going to blame the evil look on under-eye circles. They tend to make me look like a mean Eastern European after a while. I would not consider this Fat Talk because I was more or less making fun of the fact that I was hopelessly exhausted for the purpose of making my fellow, hopelessly exhausted friends laugh.

The way I treated my body physically also affected my thinking. I was running on espresso and energy drinks, an occasional real meal, junk food, and vitamins when I could actually get home to take them. Obviously the synthetic crap I was putting in my body started to make me feel bad. Over the weekend, I slept. A lot. And I had real meals!

Lesson of the week:

Treat yourself as nicely as possible (even in times of stress) and you can start to rule fat talk out of your life! God gave you your able body for a reason… So be nice to it!

"Fat" Tuesday

For the past few years, I’ve given up dietary items for Lent; pop, ice cream, chocolate, French fries, and meat (that was last year, and I thought I was going to die). Instead of giving up food, which when you think about it seems really unnatural and kind of harsh, I decided to give up something that’s actually bad for me: Fat Talk. In case you don’t know, Fat Talk is when we say negative things about our appearance. Body Sense, an OSU club dedicated to promoting healthy body image, held a Fat Talk Free day last week, and due to the positive response, I have decided to give up Fat Talk for all forty days of Lent and document different stages of the season. I know it’s going to be a challenge (for example, I just ate a ton of Wendy’s, so I naturally want to complain about how huge I feel), but I really want to get something from this. I hope you get something out of it too! I also want to come up with creative ways to relate the lack of Fat Talk in my life to my Christianity. After all, the Easter season is about what Christ gave up for you and celebrating what we received in return. So I’m going to give up Fat Talk, and it’s going to be really hard….but SO WORTH IT!