Adulting 101: Office Blues

When I graduated college, I was SO ready to start a full time, “big girl” job.  An 8-5, 40 hours a week type of thing. I thought an office job would give me the stability I had missed in college when days blended into nights and weekends were for bingeing on sleeping and eating and everything in between. But in my two years in the workforce, I’ve made quite a few surprising discoveries about office life that my mama never warned me about.

Dress code

When I got my first “real job,” I was thrilled at the thought of actually looking like a human instead of a zombie with mismatched socks when walking out the door. I was elated to have an excuse to wear a pencil skirt every day! That went downhill real quick. Lol @ looking presentable. Now it’s like a casual fashion show when I don’t have to dress up. Who knew that shopping for linen tees could be so great? Grandpa sweaters and leggings are my happy place, and sometimes I miss that zombie with mismatched socks. High buns are for days you roll out of bed (okay, everyday). Taking off your bra is the most gratifying activity of the day. And as they say, home is where the pants aren’t!

Stylin’ and profilin’

When you get a haircut, or modify your appearance in any way, you have to discuss it with what seems like a thousand people. In reality, it will be however many co-workers you have. Fifteen different people will ask you if you got a haircut, although it’s obvious you did, and you have to bear the conversation fifteen different times. I recently dyed my hair, and I had to deal with co-workers’ reactions for a span of two days. I got so tired of giving the same boring answer, so I spiced it up a little bit. One older gentleman awkwardly asked if dyeing my hair was my “choice.” I said (I really said this btw), “Unfortunately it was not. In the middle of the night, a magical hair unicorn entered my room, touched its horn to my head, and said, ‘You shall have hair that burns brighter than the light of a thousand suns.’” I would only suggest “spicing” up your answers about haircuts and colors only if you’re in an environment that you know you won’t get fired for being a little smartie.

Your co-workers make or break your job

I truly work with a cast of characters. That can go two ways. Some of my co-workers are difficult to work with. A few people could not be positive or friendly if their lives depended on it. I still cheerily say, “Good morning!” to those people and just shrug off their bad attitudes. On the other hand, I am lucky enough to work with a very good friend, and she makes my job so much better! It’s nice to have someone to share jokes with and go to lunch with.

Again… Co-workers make or break the… 

Recently I had a co-worker stand in front of my desk and actually fart while talking to me…loudly. I am terrible at holding in laughter, and this person stood in front of me and acted like it didn’t even happen. When the person walked away, I had to run out of the office and laugh. So hard that I cried. Then I laughed at my desk sporadically throughout the rest of the day, and at some point my boss asked me why I kept laughing. Embarrassing moments happen at work for everyone, and since you’re with your co-workers alllll the time, something of that nature is bound to happen.

I personally had a wardrobe malfunction when I was still new. I had a hole in the butt of my dress, and had no idea for hours. When I found it, my face turned a new shade of red. I had to walk back to my office, holding my dress closed, and I asked my boss to staple my dress shut! Yes, staple!

Sometimes things get really grossly personal

My good friend, the marketing director, approached my desk one day looking completely appalled. I had to pry the answer out of her because she was so disturbed. “I was on ****’s computer, and I found a folder called ‘sex photos’ in his Hotmail.” I was also immediately disturbed. I became upset that my friend had to discover this, even if it was just the title and not the contents. I wanted to march back to ****’s office and ask, “What is this, 1997? Keep that crap on your phone!” I resisted, and we just laugh about it now. But honestly. Who does that?

You look forward to everyone else’s vacation as much as your own

College is much different than a full time job because in school your schedule differs on a daily basis. At work, you see the same people over and over again. At the same time. Every day. This is why adults are always whining about needing a vacation. The struggle is REAL. I realized that I love when others go on vacation too. As awful as it sounds, sometimes it’s nice to have a break from Woman Who Always Complains About the Weather and Man Who Cannot Understand How To Copy and Paste for a few days.

Adult things like “work trips” happen

Twice now I have traveled to our corporate office for a symposium. All expenses are paid! We get to stay in a fancy hotel, and they feed us three meals a day. It’s fabulous. I really don’t think I accept the whole adult thing, but I considered it after my first work trip.

You end up building valuable relationships 

At the end of the day, you realize that Man Who Does Not Understand How to Copy and Paste and Woman Who Always Complains About the Weather kind of sort of care about you, and as much as it hurts to admit it, you care about them too. (But it doesn’t change the fact that in the beginning of the day they made you wish there was whiskey in your tea.)

Hang in there, my fellow office babes, the weekend is just around the corner! ;) Or a bar is at least.