Monday, March 5, 2012

Trash Hole: Stress vs. Fat Talk


My first Lenten/Fat Talk Free update is much later than I intended it to be because architecture (my major) put me through the ringer last week. Which actually taught me something: when I am exhausted and stressed, my mind automatically goes into Fat Talk mode. I averaged maybe two hours of sleep per night last week, so it’s kind of hard not to, well, call yourself a zombie when you feel like one. I had one or more major projects due each day of the week, and every time I turned one in, I hated it. As the week progressed it just got worse. My hatred of my work grew stronger and began to affect the way I thought about myself, physically and emotionally. I am proud of myself though, because even though I verbalized negative thoughts about my work, I only said one thing about my appearance. On Tuesday night I arrived home at my apartment with my roommate around 3:00am, and I said to her, “I look like a trash hole.” As soon as I said it I started laughing. First of all, what is a trash hole? And how on earth do I resemble one? Toward the end of the week I kept pointing out that I looked evil…according to my standards anyway. I’m going to blame the evil look on under-eye circles. They tend to make me look like a mean Eastern European after a while. I would not consider this Fat Talk because I was more or less making fun of the fact that I was hopelessly exhausted for the purpose of making my fellow, hopelessly exhausted friends laugh.
The way I treated my body physically also affected my thinking. I was running on espresso and energy drinks, an occasional real meal, junk food, and vitamins when I could actually get home to take them. Obviously the synthetic crap I was putting in my body started to make me feel bad. Over the weekend, I slept. A lot. And I had real meals!
Lesson of the week:
Treat yourself as nicely as possible (even in times of stress) and you can start to rule fat talk out of your life! God gave you your able body for a reason… So be nice to it!

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