Pep Talk for the "Non-Runner"

People ask me about running a lot. Probably because that's a lot of what I talk about! I've run 6 half marathons, 1 full marathon, countless 5Ks, and other random-distance races since 2010. Between training, eating (constantly), preventing or treating injury, and the races themselves, I have a lot to talk about! I could chatter for days about running-related crap that other people care nothing about. On the other side of that spectrum, when people come to me for advice about running, many curious people ask me how I do it. They say, "I wish I could do that." "You ran 10 miles? That's insane! I could never do that." "Running sucks, how do you do it?" I would like to address all these aspirations and doubts. :)

I didn't wake up one day and Forrest Gump-style run for miles!! I started very small. I would also like to include that since I am young a lot of people assume I ran in high school or college. Nooooo. I had a short-lived track career before I gave it up for the arts. The only running I did was from band to theater! So I am saying that I, like many who consult me for advice, did not have a running background. I started from scratch! I did run a bit in high school outside of organized sports. To my mother's dismay, I would run on our country road. The stretch of road I chose was only less than a mile, and I would run one side and walk the other. Until one day I could run both sides without stopping! I eventually built up from running/walking less than a mile to running a full two miles, then three miles! After a few 5Ks and a little encouragement from friends, I registered for my first half marathon (13.1 miles). I remember the first time I ran 6 miles in training. I crawled to my dorm room. Yes. I am very dramatic. Crawled, whining about how dehydrated I was. A few years and many races later, I call six miles a "short" distance.

"I wish I could do that." YOU CAN! If you were blessed with the ability to walk, you can certainly at least try to run. Start small. Set a goal. Choose a local 5K and challenge yourself to at least finish it. Forget about a finish time. Another great thing about races- almost all of them have a wheelchair division, and those athletes are the most inspiring ones there! I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I can barely run up a hill. I know I could not wheel myself up one! People who participate in races have all kinds of abilities, but they have one thing in common. They are all determined beasts!

"You ran 10 miles? That's insane! I could never do that!" Refer to "I wish I could do that." pep talk. :) Also, never say never! I would like to add that I am often in higher mileage because I run long distance, which is my distance of choice. This is not everyone's choice, and it does not need to be. Some people are sprinters. Some people love a good short-distance race, and therefore keep their mileage at 5 miles max. Some people do ultra-marathons. (An ultramarathon is any race longer than 26.2 miles) Choose the distance that works for you! Just because you don't run marathons doesn't mean you're not a "real runner." If you run, you are a runner! 5K Queen or Marathon Machine. You are a runner.

"Running sucks, how do you do it?" Same answer as before: It's all about the build-up! Plus running does kind of suck. Especially if you're just starting to train. Your lungs and heart are working hard for you and your body is using its energy stores. That doesn't sound glamorous, so don't expect it to feel glamorous. No matter how many times I've trained, the first mile of my workout almost always "sucks." Remember that every runner has bad days when they bounce out of a run or their legs feel like lead. You have to push past those moments to get to the good ones; the easy mile; the finish line.

Running is a mental sport. If you talk down to yourself, you're not going to do well. You need to train your mind as well as your body. I assure you- You are more than capable of reaching the finish line. You are SO worth it. Your body and mind will thank you!

Friending, Following, and Fighting: Navigating the Rough and Wonderful Waters of Social Media

The internet is home to the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good, and most obvious (and founding) reason for social media, is to connect with friends, new and old, near and far. But the bad and the ugly can take a real toll on your mental health without you even knowing. Here are some things to consider when you follow and friend folks on social media!

Here is my personal way of using social media, and it’s okay to use all forms in all different ways:

Facebook: FB is where I follow my friends and family and share personal info and photos. I love to share sometimes long and winding statuses if something funny happened that I think is worth sharing. I also write equally as long statuses if I witness something unfair or hateful. I also utilize the good ol’ FB for fundraising purposes for various charities I support. Overall, I use Facebook as a storyboard and scrapbook.

Instagram: I share photos of all kinds. Photos from daily life: How far I ran, a beautiful photo from a trail run, pictures of my friends from dinner, and sometimes pictures OF my dinner. Oh and my nephew and cat. :D Instagram is a free-for-all. I am a visual person, and if I find or take a photo that makes me laugh, I’ll share it. I’m not a five-star photographer. I just share humorous or pleasant photos. I also started doing #feministfriday approximately a year ago, and I love sharing socially enlightening photos as well.

Twitter: Although I address some seriousness in each of these accounts, Twitter is the least serious to me. Which is ironic because I think Twitter and its fame for hashtags is most important for social change. For example, I got a lot of information about the Sandra Bland murder through Twitter. Anywho, when I am not perusing the latest socially important hashtag, I’m sharing stupid tweets about my day, being hangry and road rage. Generally crass and unimportant. Hopefully entertaining. ;)

Now that you know how I utilize social accounts, here is how I keep myself and my friends and followers in check.

The Good

I am the type of person who can be easily misunderstood. I’m not overly obnoxious, but there is potential. I’m stubborn, and sometimes I think people perceive my strong personality as maybe feelings of superiority. I never want to be perceived that way. I do think since I have started using social media more frequently that I have become more conscious of how I present myself to others. It’s important to be critical of your actions and words, and my presence on social media keeps me in check. For example, when I started preaching my love for feminism and equal rights, I was guilty of only pushing middle-class feminist issues. Social has helped me find my voice as an ally for women of all races, gender identities, and abilities. I also used to share my opinion unapologetic-ally at all times. I am still unapologetic with my opinion, but I am slowly understanding that my comment is not necessary on everything! I’ll never be perfect, but there is always room for improvement!

The Bad

My Facebook friend list grew from maybe 200 to 900 from college on. I regularly try to maintain my friend list, but I try not to be overly harsh about unfriending people (as if anyone cares). My newsfeeds, especially on Facebook which is my oldest account, becomes an accumulation of.. well. People and info I don’t really care about. Here are a few questions I ask myself: Is this person relevant to my life? (Hahaha that sounds really harsh, but it's important. As a writer, I know I have people who enjoy reading my blogs and work. If I don’t regularly see this person but I know they appreciate my work, I keep ‘em! Those people are valuable!) Will I ever see this person again? (I have had a few “friends” who do more harm than good. If they share hateful and narrow-minded posts, I block ‘em. Not worth my time or effort. Especially if I never see the culprit in person. Again, who really cares? Get rid of that negativity!)

Another bad aspect of social is the fact that sharing a personal story or photo opens up a forum for discussion. Sometimes it’s fun! Sometimes it’s awful. I recently had a male friend attack me for sharing a story about being bullied for my tattoos. In his opinion, there are more important issues than the fact that women’s bodies become commentaries for people who treat them as objects. Ironic since I’ve never seen the culprit make a feminist observation in the six years I’ve known him. Social media can really bring the bigots out of the woodwork. When you share on social, you have to be prepared to either brush off the bullies or fight with them if the cause is important. When in doubt, block it out.

The Ugly

When I think of fighting with people on the internet, I want to cry. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating when someone doesn’t understand your point of view and sometimes it can make you feel like a bad person when you’re just trying to communicate a progressive and simple message. This seems shocking, but I’ve been targeted by various OLDER (older emphasized because you would assume they are more mature!) people online. My first ugly fight happened on Facebook with a family member who mocked a status of mine about Robin Williams. My status was about reaching out for help if you’re suicidal because, in my opinion, it was worth a try. If that saves one person, who cares what everyone else thinks? This older woman mocked my status, and when I called her out on it, became very aggressive and personally attacked my history of disordered eating and then tried to invalidate my experience because I am half her age. Very rude, immature, and uncalled for.  Needless to say, I blocked her. It’s been a year, and I haven’t had to argue with her about ANYTHING. (Refer to previous section: I never see her in person anyway!) Blocking her removed at least a small fraction of stress from my life! 

Like all other relationships in life, you need to make sure your "relationships" on social media are healthy! Unlike real life, they don't need to be meaningful at all. Social media is what you make it! It can be satirical, a news source, or just a place to talk with friends! Just make sure you're not filling your own life with the trash of others and putting yourself at risk for bullying and exhausting virtual arguments. Not worth it!

A Woman's Dramatic Journey Through Target (to Chipotle)

I wandered in the store, covered in sweat and bugs from my latest trail run, longing for Chipotle which was so far away. But I was on a mission. I needed a nut driver (lol) and some mace since mine was MIA. I walked to the tool section. Not a nut driver in sight. They had pink screwdrivers for crying out loud! But not even a nut driver. Sidetracked because of my intense hunger, I found myself admiring bath towels. Then decorative throws. I ran my shaky hand across a red one. I could just lie down on the floor with this. And sleep. Forever.

Really pleasant thoughts to have at Target, lemme tell ya.

With Target having me under its Target Spell, I walked aimlessly into the candle section and smelled every candle in the place. So hungry, I thought, I'm actually going to melt into these scents and fade away. I snapped out of it, remembering the sweetness of the guacamole that awaited me. Suddenly I found myself in the exercise section. I picked up two purple dumbbells and put them in my basket. I need these. I need to be strong. I realized I was looking for mace.

I found a kindred spirit (aka a Target employee), who I sensed also hated people, near the Cheetos. "Do you carry mace?" He stared at me pitifully. I couldn't tell if he was staring at the mascara smudged across my face, the bugs that had perished on my body, or the dirt that lined my ankles. This kindred spirit/secret hater named Arthur walked me aisles away to the appropriate section and got me some mace.

Carrying my basket of mace and weights, I thought, Damn, this basket is heavy. Oh yeah, there are weights in there. Duh. I found a checkout line that looked longer than the trails I had just run. A woman got in line behind me. She stood so closely to me that I kicked my basket a few inches ahead and moved. She moved with me. I had no choice but to give her some serious side eye. I was starving! How dare she!

Then-- the treacherous journey to Chipotle. I thought it was going to be a fast drive from T to C. But I also thought I was going to faint. I wasn't so sure I could make it. Although I know the area like the back of my hand, I took a wrong turn which delayed me severely. There was no way out. Only a bunch of one-way turns and a lot of pedestrians. It's not my proudest moment, but I'll admit, I considered hitting a human being with my car to get to Chipotle. When I finally parked, I walked out in front of some jackwagon driving a Mercedes. Because.. Try me. Also, food.

I finally hobbled into Chipotle and began to order from the adorable employee. "Burrito bowl, please." "Do you want any beans with--" But suddenly I felt something bite my ass cheek. "Excuse me, I'm sorry, I think there is a bug in my pants." Without thinking, I'm in a public space right now, I reached my hand up into my spandex to get the little sucker out. Bug-free, I finished my order. I took it to go because I just wanted to go home and take my pants off. On the way to the car, giving absolutely no shits whatsoever, I stuck my trail/Target/bug-in-the-spandex hands into the chip bag and delivered the saltiest, most glorious chip I've ever tasted to my desperate lips.