The internet is home to the good, the bad, and the ugly. The
good, and most obvious (and founding) reason for social media, is to connect
with friends, new and old, near and far. But the bad and the ugly can take a
real toll on your mental health without you even knowing. Here are some things
to consider when you follow and friend folks on social media!
Here is my personal way of using social media, and it’s okay
to use all forms in all different ways:
Facebook: FB is where I follow my friends and family and
share personal info and photos. I love to share sometimes long and winding
statuses if something funny happened that I think is worth sharing. I also
write equally as long statuses if I witness something unfair or hateful. I also
utilize the good ol’ FB for fundraising purposes for various charities I
support. Overall, I use Facebook as a storyboard and scrapbook.
Instagram: I share photos of all kinds. Photos from daily
life: How far I ran, a beautiful photo from a trail run, pictures of my friends
from dinner, and sometimes pictures OF my dinner. Oh and my nephew and cat. :D
Instagram is a free-for-all. I am a visual person, and if I find or take a
photo that makes me laugh, I’ll share it. I’m not a five-star photographer. I
just share humorous or pleasant photos. I also started doing #feministfriday
approximately a year ago, and I love sharing socially enlightening photos as
well.
Twitter: Although I address some seriousness in each of
these accounts, Twitter is the least serious to me. Which is ironic because I
think Twitter and its fame for hashtags is most important for social change. For
example, I got a lot of information about the Sandra Bland murder through
Twitter. Anywho, when I am not perusing the latest socially important hashtag,
I’m sharing stupid tweets about my day, being hangry and road rage. Generally
crass and unimportant. Hopefully entertaining. ;)
Now that you know how I utilize social accounts, here is how
I keep myself and my friends and followers in check.
The Good
I am the type of person who can be easily misunderstood. I’m
not overly obnoxious, but there is potential. I’m stubborn, and sometimes I
think people perceive my strong personality as maybe feelings of superiority. I
never want to be perceived that way. I do think since I have started using
social media more frequently that I have become more conscious of how I present
myself to others. It’s important to be critical of your actions and words, and
my presence on social media keeps me in check. For example, when I started
preaching my love for feminism and equal rights, I was guilty of only pushing
middle-class feminist issues. Social has helped me find my voice as an ally for
women of all races, gender identities, and abilities. I also used to share my opinion
unapologetic-ally at all times. I am still unapologetic with my opinion,
but I am slowly understanding that my comment is not necessary on everything! I’ll never be perfect, but there is always room for improvement!
The Bad
My Facebook friend list grew from maybe 200 to 900 from
college on. I regularly try to maintain my friend list, but I try not to be
overly harsh about unfriending people (as if anyone cares). My newsfeeds, especially
on Facebook which is my oldest account, becomes an accumulation of.. well. People
and info I don’t really care about. Here are a few questions I ask myself: Is this person relevant to my life? (Hahaha that sounds really harsh, but it's important. As
a writer, I know I have people who enjoy reading my blogs and work. If I don’t
regularly see this person but I know they appreciate my work, I keep ‘em! Those people are valuable!) Will I ever see this person again? (I have had a few “friends” who
do more harm than good. If they share hateful and narrow-minded posts, I block ‘em.
Not worth my time or effort. Especially if I never see the culprit in person.
Again, who really cares? Get rid of that negativity!)
Another bad aspect of social is the fact that sharing a
personal story or photo opens up a forum for discussion. Sometimes it’s fun!
Sometimes it’s awful. I recently had a male friend attack me for sharing a story about
being bullied for my tattoos. In his opinion, there are more important issues
than the fact that women’s bodies become commentaries for people who treat them as objects. Ironic
since I’ve never seen the culprit make a feminist observation in the six years
I’ve known him. Social media can really bring the bigots out of the woodwork.
When you share on social, you have to be prepared to either brush off the
bullies or fight with them if the cause is important. When in doubt, block it
out.
The Ugly
When I think of fighting with people on the internet, I want
to cry. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating when someone doesn’t understand your
point of view and sometimes it can make you feel like a bad person when you’re
just trying to communicate a progressive and simple message. This seems
shocking, but I’ve been targeted by various OLDER (older emphasized because you
would assume they are more mature!) people online. My first ugly fight happened
on Facebook with a family member who mocked a status of mine about Robin
Williams. My status was about reaching out for help if you’re suicidal because,
in my opinion, it was worth a try. If that saves one person, who cares what
everyone else thinks? This older woman mocked my status, and when I called her
out on it, became very aggressive and personally attacked my history of disordered eating and then tried to invalidate my experience because I am half her age.
Very rude, immature, and uncalled for. Needless
to say, I blocked her. It’s been a year, and I haven’t had to argue with her
about ANYTHING. (Refer to previous section: I never see her in person anyway!) Blocking
her removed at least a small fraction of stress from my life!
Like all other relationships in life, you need to make sure your "relationships" on social media are healthy! Unlike real life, they don't need to be meaningful at all. Social media is what you make it! It can be satirical, a news source, or just a place to talk with friends! Just make sure you're not filling your own life with the trash of others and putting yourself at risk for bullying and exhausting virtual arguments. Not worth it!
No comments:
Post a Comment