Debunking the Myth of the Basic Bitch

Look- a rare pupkin! My pun game is so strong.

Can you guess what has sparked the following feminist-fueled fairytale you're about to read?

F A L L and the prompt release of the famous Pumpkin Spice Everything

That's right. The most amazing season on the planet, according to white girls. Because apparently, white people are the only ones allowed to enjoy this season?? Idk. I'm just over here drinking my PSL whilst simultaneously rolling around in an apple grove.

Fall- a fleeting three months when the weather is cooperative and delicious pumpkin-flavored goods are sold in Target stores everywhere. Fall sports like cross country and marching band are in full swing. The mornings are crisp. The afternoons are sunny. What is not to love about it?

Oh, I don't know, maybe the constant name-calling women receive for decorating their homes, baking cranberry scones, and drinking pumpkin-flavored coffee.

Do you know why women (people) like pumpkin-flavored things? BECAUSE THEY'RE FREAKING DELICIOUS, and they're only available once a year! But somehow, somewhere in the epoch of the patriarchy, it became uncool to like something that tastes good, with the fear of being called "basic" and/or "bitch" in the process. EXTRA WHIP PLEASE.

According to this logic, Coca Cola should be considered basic since it's awful for you but tastes freaking GREAT ESPECIALLY WHEN PAIRED WITH CHIPOTLE, ANOTHER THING EVERYONE LIKES.

Phew. Now that I've gotten that off my chest and you've seen a bit of my argument, let's get real. "Basic" is only used to describe things women like collectively. I mentioned Coke and Chipotle above because those are products not fueled by gender stereotypes. Everyone likes it, whether or not they admit it, ;) but it's not considered "bad," "basic," or "uncool" because men like it too. Therefore it does not get the same connotation as a seasonally flavored latte or an over-sized sweater or comfy boots imported from Australia.

Forrrrrr example. Do you know what else is a season? Football. Are the thousands of men who partake in this madness "basic" for liking something that happens a few months out of a whole year? While they gather in their cookie-cutter team t-shirts and New Balance tennis shoes, and eat the store-bought guacamole none of them are capable of making at home? NO. Because men are NEVER shamed for what they like! Yes, there are stereotypical straight men. Bros, bachelors, frat boys. But none of those have quite the same connotative ring as basic bitch. (Extra credit note- There is also an assumption that women who like football are only doing it for male attention. Insert middle finger emoji here.)

I'm also pretty sure 75% of the millennial male population has this haircut, but who is shaming them for that?

I'm just pointing out facts. At least I have the maturity to admit that it's a great haircut. Even if tens of thousands of 30-something cold-brew coffee drinkers have it. Where's the derogatory name for them?

Since the dawn of time, women have been shamed for what they like. Sex. Slut. Money. Gold digger. Career. Cold. Being single. Cat lady. Being married. Boring. Sweatshirts and coffee. Basic. It's no different.

Only women lose value for their interests and choices.

Rather than fight the stereotype, there was a sort of "basic and proud" movement going on. But you know, screw that. There's nothing basic about liking something that's good. End of story.

Ladies, for the love of feminism and yourselves, STOP calling yourselves "basic."