When I first made the commitment to give up fat talk for Lent, I thought, “What did I just do??” Forty days without hating on myself? Impossible! But it actually wasn’t so bad. I transformed into a fat-talk-free warrior. At first I was tempted to let a few comments leak, and it became easy just to hold them in and say something positive instead. But what I really became passionate about was combating fat talk that came from my friends. This spring I volunteered as a Girls on the Run coach (an esteem-boosting program for young girls) and I am the new Body Sense president. So I guess you could say that the ability to fight fat talk is in my “job” description. But it’s much easier said than done. Fighting fat talk is not a battle that can be won overnight. You have to practice. So for my fat talk finale (because I’m done with that crap) I wrote some rules for fighting fat talk.
1. Focus on what you can do, not what you look like. If I’m having a bad hair day for example, I say to myself, “Yeah, my hair might look like I borrowed my dog’s shampoo, but I can still play piano like a beast. So, kiss it hair. I’m over you.” Just silly little stuff like that can go a long way!
2. Remember that you are much more sensitive to your looks than your friends. If you think you look like hell, I can guarantee you’re the only one that’s going to notice. Your friends are more likely to notice a missing smile versus missing mascara.
3. Take a look at the beautiful people in your life. What makes them beautiful? Is it the outfit from the cover of Vogue or a perfectly airbrushed face? Unless your bff is Scarlett Johansson, that’s a big NO. Beauty comes in so many forms. It’s up to you to find it, especially in yourself.
4. Decide what you really like about yourself; whether it is physical or not. This was my favorite exercise from coaching this spring. I told the girls to do just the same. The best part? NONE of them picked something physical. “I like to make my friends laugh.” “I like to hug my mom when she’s having a bad day.” That was one of my favorite moments as an “adult” ever.
5. It not only hurts you, but those around you. One day, just a few weeks ago, my sister (who is 12) and I were shopping for bathing suits; the most appalling shopping mission for women besides jeans. In a fit of fat talk I accidentally said, “My butt got bigger and so did the rest of me.” This was the turning point, my friends. I will never forget the way Alli looked at me. She quietly said, “That’s not true.” She seemed so hurt. She might not admit it, but I know that she really loves me. I could tell that the thought of me hating myself broke her heart, and that observation broke mine. I instantly regretted it, and it had been my first stinging statement about myself for a long time. It hurt me too.
Consider this: If someone told you that your thighs were disgusting, that your abs could use some work, and you need a nose job, would you actually stand there and take it?? I sure as hell wouldn’t. Fat talk is the same no matter where it is coming from. There is no need for it to come from your own, beautiful mouth.
My final word of advice to you is to come up with an affirmation for yourself. Whether it is super deep or something funny, make sure that you’re accepting yourself with it.
Find your beauty and forget fat talk.
