For Nanny

Ninety Years. What a blessing. Most of us can only hope to live that long. That’s why today should be a day of celebration. Celebration of a long, happy life. Saying goodbye is never easy, but this is just the beginning for Nanny

She’s probably been waiting years to meet her Savior and I know she’s been looking forward to being with her husband again. Those are the things we should think about today.

It’s so cliche to say that she’s in a better place, but she really is. The best part about knowing where she is, is knowing that someday I’ll be with her again too. Because God gave me and you that option when He gave up His Son for us. To want her here again would be selfish.

Funerals are hard in general, but Nanny’s has the opportunity to be different. Unfortunately, I have been to a young person’s funeral, and those are the worst because you know it’s not fair they died so soon. But Nanny lived a long, wonderful life. I feel kind of unqualified to even be speaking right now because I’ve only known her for twenty years. Twenty out of her ninety. But in my twenty years I learned a lot from her just by observing the way she lived. She always had a smile on her face. She made it seem effortless too, but I think that is because her smile came from within. She was such a sweet and beautiful person, inside and out. Maybe she just smiled at me a lot because she thought I looked funny... Nah. She was definitely just happy.

That’s probably what I’ll miss most about her: the way her happiness could effect me just by looking at her. I’ll also miss some of the hilarious things she said. I’ll never forget when she told me that Bill Clinton was a great president, even though he “slept with that woman.” Oh and how she used to make fun of Oprah. And the time I ate so much chocolate she told me I was going to get acne.

But what amazes me the most about Nanny is not actually a memory at all, but the love she passed down from generation to generation. It shows in the people sitting here today. Mamaw (or Joyce) and Jan are two incredibly caring individuals. They wouldn’t be who they are without their parents. Nanny’s impact on her family certainly showed last night [the previous night would have been calling hours at the funeral home] and in the past couple of days with the outpouring of support from friends. Nanny’s love and kindness has been reciprocated to us by friends in her absence. And her love will always be with us. Because love never dies.

Ninety years. What a blessing. Saying goodbye is never easy, but this is just the beginning.

Deceiving Looks

My latest architecture project was themed “Mobility Meets Strategy,” so I decided to research how the immobile become mobile. I discovered a fashion designer, Izzy Camilleri, who designed an entire line of clothing for people restricted by wheelchairs. I found a video demonstrating how the clothing was engineered for easy use. In the video, the young, wheelchair-bound woman demonstrating the clothing, praises Camilleri and thanks her for designing something fashionable for disabled people. When I go shopping for clothes, I don’t have to worry about buying something stylish because I know the option will be there for me; however, disabled people aren’t so lucky. So many other people have conditions that affect their clothing options, so why is Camilleri the first person to incorporate fashion with versatility? Disabled people have the same feelings as “normal-bodied” people. People with “abnormal” looks desire to dress fashionably, have expressive hairstyles, love, and be loved. The desire for these emotions surfaces in Lucy Grealy’s “Autobiography of a Face.” Even though Grealy’s body is normal, her facial bone structure has been effected by a major surgery from childhood, and she struggles with finding her identity, especially aesthetically. “I was secretly hoping that in the process some potential lover might accidentally notice I was wearing my private but beautiful heart on my stained and fraying sleeve,” is proof that Grealy knew her personality and wished others would see it; not her face. Another point in the plot where Grealy realizes that she could have potentially romantic relationships she states, “I was never going to have anyone want me in that way, so I mustn’t desire such a thing.” People whose bodies are marked as different go through this every day. They desire the fashion, attention, and feelings that able-bodied people have. Grealy recognizes at a young age that because she looks different, she may not be desired by males or even looked at as a sexual being. It’s one struggle to go through life disapproving of one’s own looks but with an able body. It’s a completely different life when one’s body or appearance is disapproved of by society and restricts daily life.

Graphic Benefits

Prior to reading Persepolis and Fun Home, I have never even thought about reading a graphic novel. The impression I had of graphic novels were that they were for men only; written by men for men (aka sexist and something in which I would be uninterested). After all the hype about the popular, graphic-novel-based movie Watchmen a few years ago, I was completely done with the whole graphic novel craze and I hadn’t even read one. After reading the two graphic memoirs for class, I realized the graphic genre isn’t so bad after all. Firstly, the text is easy to understand. Several theories, including feminist theory, can be explained in the simplest terms. Graphic novels contradict the concept of academese, which is an institution that feminist writer bell hooks is strongly against. Academese is incredibly complex, academic writing that is difficult for the average person, or even average intelligent person, to understand. Graphic novels challenge this concept by putting theories in an easily understandable form. Secondly, the text is accompanied by pictures. According to Scott McCloud in “Understanding Comic,” “The idea that a picture can evoke an emotional or sensual response in the viewer is vital to the art of comics.” Not only can feminist theories be explained, but they can also be demonstrated. The reader can literally see what feminist theory does and how it affects women. For example, in Persepolis when Marjane’s mother is harassed by a police officer, the reader can see the emotional effect it had on both Marjane and her mother. Finally, graphic novels can attract a lot of readers and reach an audience that normal novels may not reach. Young girls and boys can learn about serious theories at a young age. People who might not otherwise be exposed to feminist theories can be via graphic memoirs. McCloud thinks that “Together, of course, words and pictures can work miracles,” and I agree.

What Not to Wear

If you haven’t been reminded enough, ladies, swimsuit season is quickly approaching. The magazine covers in the grocery store have been reminding us to diet since January, so I’m sure this isn’t news to you. The other day while waiting at the doctor’s office I was browsing through a magazine and came upon a section that offered me help in dressing my body in the most flattering swimsuit. There was a page for each body “type” with pictures of beautiful, healthy women; in other words, women with normal body image. The article seemed to be trying to promote a healthy body image, but the body “types” were really unnecessary and basically offensive. The categories of body types were “apple,” “pear,” and “ruler.” The last time I checked, a pear is not going to wear a bikini or even go swimming. An active human being is the most likely consumer of swimwear. Wearing flattering clothing is fine. Dressing in what is good for your body is fine. For example, a fair girl like me looks better in jewel tones than pastels. So I’m going to dress in what makes me feel confident and pretty. But telling a woman (or anyone else!) she looks like a piece of fruit? Not cool.


So why do we do it? Why do we label ourselves one of three of the thousands of body “types?” Why do we continue to buy push-up bras even though that’s basically signing a consent form for objectification? It’s called internalizing oppression, and we’ve all done it in some form or another. Internalizing oppression happens when we realize that a certain institution is wrong, but we support it anyway.

According to author Marilyn Frye, “The root of the word ‘oppression’ is the element ‘press.” She says “Something pressed is something caught between or among forces and barriers which are so related to each other that jointly the restrain, restrict, or prevent the thing’s motion or mobility. Mold. Immobilize. Reduce (Oppression).” When we let a magazine tell us what we are, we’re allowing ourselves to be oppressed. Our expressions are restrained and restricted when there is so much focus on body types. Dressing for confidence is one thing. Dressing another way because you feel like you should is completely different. Don’t let anyone label you. Especially as a fruit or a measuring device! I am not a ruler. I’m an intelligent woman,  and I’ll wear what I want. Oppression is not in this season.